Wow, it IS true that starting to write anything is the most difficult part of writing anything. Even when it’s just shiftless musings like the ones to which I'm currently subjecting you! More difficult than the eventual body of words. And more terrifying than the fear that what you've written is not only dull and purposeless to anyone who bothers to take their laptop to the loo with them, but also to yourself when you re-read it one second after you publish to the site. And this is no exception…but for the fact that I skilfully avoided the conundrum with my crafty, “Wow, it IS true that starting to write…” trick.

But it shouldn’t BE that difficult. Especially if the subject matter is something as surprisingly delightful as a little unidentifiable frying object, which we found two weeks ago. This latest is about the loveliest, most gently voluptuous waffle iron we've ever found (it also happens to be the only one we've found to date, which makes the prize that much easier to award - and the award ceremony so much more predictable).

Snag, though - right here was where I was going to give a short history of the thing and the company that made it. Cleverly Googled, paraphrased and plagiarised. Unfortunately I cannot find ANY information about this thing. Not a manufacturer, not a country of origin, nothing. Granted, the search criterion was “waffle iron that looks like spaceship” but I had hoped Google would fill in the blanks, jeesh.

Here is a photograph. Isn't it LOVELY!? Blaise and I both have such a very immediate and visceral response to this design style. Not sure why. Perhaps it’s the unashamed boldness of it. The confidence that it is what it purports to be. It’s not aerodynamic. It’s not meant to disappear into the environment, like a music system in your super modern 2-beds-one-bath apartment that looks like a vase and disappears when you squint. “It LOOKS like a vase, but it’s actually an iPod docking station and tumble dryer”. None of that. There aren’t even pointy bits to impale yourself on like a sarcastic comment. It’s simple, pretty, adorable.

It stands about 25cm in diameter, and at its height about 15cm. The lid flaps back as per these highly stylised and doctored retro images left, right or below and reveals its inner waffle workings as tar black ornately designed receptacles for placement of your thick, cholesterol-happy waffle mixture.

So, in light of the above, it seems criminal to release this poor soul back into a world forever altered by gluten free, sugar free, peanut free, tree nut free, pine nut free, wheat free, MSG free, dairy free, cholesterol free, and occasionally taste free concoctions designed specifically so you can eat 5 more years onto your life. It stays home with us. That’s all there is to it.